The Grange Club 13th December 2007

The dust had now settled and Chris Wilson had been archived to the Tony Scott book of darting folklore. Now just a mere fable to be narrated in the presence of a roaring fire with a plethora of adoring grandchildren and the sweet scent of hand rolled Cuban cigar smoke adding a foggy mystique to the latest darting fairytale.
To others perhaps a soliloquy as they recalled themselves and others suffering such humiliating defeats at the hands of a darting legend.
It was now down to another dashing prince to step forward and awaken the sleeping beauty that is the rose and crown dart team.

The special one himself Jose Mourinho would surely have been salivating at the prospect of delivering the after match press conference in the aftermath of such a show of tactical genius that was so evidently displayed by Rose and Crown sipper Alan Turner last night. Realizing that success is built on solid foundations the skipper resisted the urge of tinkering with with these very foundations and was duly rewarded.

Eyebrows were raised it has to be said as the Sipper went on first partnering "Wavey Davey" Noble then followed by the enigmatic Neil "The Dude" Crosby and Carl Bolding and those same eyebrows were raised even further when both pairs came back from the oche empty handed.
"Big Al" kept his nerve though and cheered on so enthusiastically by Veronica Kent who has established herself within the side with her very own and unique brand of support (more akin to that of the Circus Tavern than to the Rose & Crown it has to be said) he stuck fast with the tried and tested partnership of Tony Scott and Tom Wilson and despite a shaky start the first blow to the visitors had been struck and the Rose & Crown were off the mark. Perhaps though, the most rewarding was the skippers tactical nous not to have given in to temptation and partnered the emerging Paul Mullins with Neil Crosby (a partnership that had payed dividends in the past) and he stuck with the partnership of Paul Mullins and John Goode which continues to be successful.. In fact Paul is playing so well at the moment that all John has to do is "slipstream" him. Once caught up in the undertow of HMS Mullins it's full steam ahead to the winning post! and last night was no exception as the surprise pair of the season yet again chalked up a 2 leg victory which put the sides level going into the interval.

Even Dave Vass had no answer, darting wise or unusually for him verbally to the steamroller that was now hurtling to the tape with victory insight. He was left to mutter such utterings about winning goldfish and other such nonsense (surely a childhood memory, perhaps even that of the last "trophy" he lifted above his head!) as he was humbled into submission by Neil Crosby who put his recent troubles and injuries behind him to put in an all most vintage performance to put the home side ahead for the first time.

The point was secured and the skippers job made to look easy as Tom Wilson mopped up the next in two straight legs the home side had now reeled off four games on the bounce and the disappointment of a 7-1 thrashing at the hands of the Crooked Billet just a fortnight ago now just a distant memory.

"Big Al" then played his final hand and called upon the in form Paul Mullins to seal victory. Paul was happy to oblige and you could hear a pin drop as his final arrow pierced the double five almost like a dagger through the heart and mouth! of the now almost mute Dave Vass and victory was complete far from the whooping and cheering that had been the traits of the away side in those first two encounters of the evening the home side were dignified in their celebrations and you had to listen very intently to hear the whispers around the public bar of "Chris Who?"
This one was for you Chris and all the very best of luck.

The Crooked Billet November 29th

If life it is a vaudeville

And we the crowd it entertains

And the skies they are the set

Then the earth it is the stage

And if time it is the script

And we the willing players

Then hope it be the answer

To all our dreams and prayers.

Hope indeed, The Rose & Crown certainly went into this intriguing encounter with hope in abundance. On the back of an unbeaten five game streak hope was certainly high. Thoughts were even harboured of curtailing a runaway Crooked Billet side who find themselves in the higher echelons of the first division, a position it would have to be said that they are very much unaccustomed to.

But this was a different Crooked Billet side, one that has not been seen in recent years and one that now boasted the mercurial talent that is Bob Williams and the incomparable Linda Searle.

The truth was that on paper this should have been an even match up, reality though is something very different and this was a no contest. Linda Searle weaved her magic and almost single handed dismantled the Rose and Crown as if tearing it down brick by brick, barely leaving the skeletal wooden framework behind.

Chris Wilson on his final competitive match for the Rose and Crown managed just one leg from both his doubles and singles encounters, one more it has to be said than his father Tom who failed to even get off the mark during one leg of his doubles with Tony Scott and then encountered Linda Searle at her brilliant best and was duly dispatched two straight legs in the singles.

So with the usually dependable Wilson's managing just one leg from a possible eight all hopes of a result had long since departed and the Rose only had pride to play for.

Even pride was proving a difficult obstacle to climb though, as Skipper Alan Turner found out as he to fell short. Only John Goode offered any Resistance as once again he put in a solid performance to claim yet another victory by two straight legs but then was cruelly overlooked for a singles slot in favour of the out of sorts Neil Crosby!!!

So with just the one bright spot the Rose went down 7-1, one of their biggest defeats in recent memory and one that they will no doubt be looking to put behind them as they go into the mid season break.

Caledon Club "A" November 22nd

This was old school darts, both teams steeped in their traditions, steeped also in the traditions of the league. This was an epic encounter played out in a traditional old English Pub, a far cry from the dilapidated surroundings of such salubrious establishments as "The Grange" or "British Legion" or the stark empty interiors of so called town pubs who's furniture consists of alcopop binge drinking, ASBO collecting teenagers who's only contribution to the environment is to feed the jukebox to reach a decibel level that masks both their lack of social intelligence and monosyllabic tone of the staff who can just about raise a grunt in between text messages. The public bar at the "Rose & Crown" is about as far detached from this as is possible to be. Cosy open fire's and low beamed ceiling's coupled with the ability of it's enchanting staff to converse on a level that includes both witt and intelligence contributes to an atmospherically charged evening that both teams thrive on and have thrived on for many years.

The dictionary defines pugilism as "the art or practice of fighting with the fists". The fists were thankfully not evident last night as these two first division contenders stood toe to toe trading blows of tungsten against a bristle board that would have had even the purest of pugilists trading in the gloves for these toughened steel arrows.

The visitors drew first blood as Rose & Crown skipper Alan Turner and the Director of Dart's or "DD" as he is affectionately known failed to land the first punch and give the "Rose" the start they so desperately craved. Skipper Alan Turner then turned to the inform John Goode and the resurgent Paul Mullins to steady the ship and after another assured display from duo had ensured the scores were level it was down to Rose & Crown stalwart Tony Scott and the enigmatic Neil Crosby to steal a march on the visitors. Described as a spent match by "Wavey Davey Noble" for his innovative use of head ware, Neil was soon quick to strike up once more as he and Tony wrapped up proceedings to overhaul the deficit and send the Rose in to a 2-1 lead. It was now down to "Wavey Davey" (back from a mid-season break) and the returning Carl Bolding who had also missed the previous weeks match to wrap up proceedings.
Returning from illness with more medical terms in his vocabulary than a BMA medical journal former retired postal worker Carl failed to find his form as he and "Wavey Davey" Noble couldn't live up to their past performances and limped out lamely as the visitors turned up the heat on the hosts to draw level at 2 each.

After the interval and everyone concerned had gorged themselves on the generous helpings of freshly made sandwiches garnished with fresh salad and served with piping hot chips it was back to the business in hand.

"Bryant and May" look alike Neil Crosby dusted down the excess "sesquisulfide of phophorous" and struck once more to send the home side into a 3-2 lead. Skipper Alan Turner without both Tom and Chris Wilson then turned to Paul Mullins to secure the draw, and he didn't disappoint. In a nail biting encounter Paul held his nerve to secure a 2-1 victory and thus secure the home side a valuable point.

Trailing 4-2 the visitors were on the ropes and looked down and out but were given a lifeline as the home side dropped its guard as John Goode failed to take his doubles form into the singles and was caught with a sucker punch to reduce the lead to just one at 4-3 but with stalwart Tony Scott still to play the home side were still confident of picking up another two points. Alas this was not to be. "Scotty" looking to repeat last weeks heroics was strangely out of sorts and his inconsistency proved to be his undoing as the away side fought back off the ropes and snatched a remarkable draw against all odds.

Valmar Club November 15th

The skip had yet to arrive but it seems no one had told the incumbents of the Valmar dart team who seemed to have tossed away the wolfram in favour of lignum vitae and natural gut.

The tradition of the spit and sawdust venues that darts grew up in has long since departed and been replaced by stark lifeless establishments with a client base that has about as much interest in darts as a lesbian tennis coach has in coaching tennis.

This nomadic team of working class dart players who have inhabited more hostelries than a McMullens drayman now find themselves sandwiched between the "white tops" of crown green bowling and the middle classed, middle aged, middle of the road, Townsend Bowls and Tennis Club and it seems to be rubbing off.

It has to be said that they are certainly lacking one or two players, the loss in recent years of Steve Curran must have been a massive blow and of course John Cole who remains seriously ill has hit them hard. With that said there is still enough talent on show to remind all of those days when they were undefeatable.

With three straight wins behind them the Rose and Crown had nothing to fear and were quickly into their stride, the wolfram was hitting it's target with consummate ease, for the Valmar however things were very different, and it was as if the lignum vitae that they had chosen as there weapon of choice had been replaced with the heaviest of lead weights. The lead weights fell short of their targets and so to did any chance the Valmar had of earning anything from this one sided encounter.

Chris Wilson and Neil Crosby chalked up the first and were soon followed by Tom Wilson and Tony Scott. The performance of the evening must go to John Goode (ably assisted by Paul Mullins) who swept aside his hapless opponents with relative ease in a show of darts that belied his years. The only blip for the visitors came as Skipper Alan Turner was forced to partner the Director of Darts (Alan Hulks) a change that was forced upon him due to the injury of Carl Bolding who was suffering from another bout of "Postman's Wallet".

Trailing 3-1 after the doubles the Valmar found themselves staring down the barrel, only Barry Curran really offered any resistance as he hauled them back to 2-3 with a victory over the in-form Chris Wilson. But by this stage their hand had been forced and their trump card had been played. This being said there was no answer to the consistent accuracy of Tom Wilson or the steely grit and determination of Tony Scott as the Rose and Crown wrapped up a good nights work running out 5-3 winners. In truth it could have been worse for the hosts and a 6-2 scoreline would not have flattered the visitors and they will look back and rue the chances missed by an out of sorts Neil Crosby.

Tactics

It would have to be said the Rose & Crown in recent years owes it's success not just to the deadly aim of the Wilson's oh no, but to an age old tradition dating back to those earlier days at the Blue Anchor.
This is not to cast doubt over the father and son combination of Tom and Chris who have taken the team to a new level of darts previously never seen on the oche's of St.Michael's. Indeed one would have to ask themselves that without Tom Wilson (who effortlessly glides to the oche and releases his arrows with unerring accuracy) just how would the lottery syndicate be funded or for that matter without the competitive edge of Chris Wilson would the tantrums of Neil "the dude" Crosby be the closest we come to an outpouring of competitive emotion. Well, pertinent questions maybe but what can not be denied is the Rose and Crown's uncanny knack of out-witting and out-foxing it's opponents almost to the point of intimidation at times.

In years gone by, back in the public bar of the Blue Anchor when a pint of creamy was under two quid and the discerning landlord or landlady would gladly join you for a half and darts was but a mere twinkle in the directors eye "Ming the Merciless" reigned supreme at tactics and reign supreme he did. Such was his vice like grip on this colloquial version of the game that it is said his early retirement from the post office was spawned from his gains after many an evening in the public bar. His neighbours are said to have seen him silhouetted from behind his curtains late on Thursday nights counting out his booty, some are said to have heard a shrill cackle wringing round the neighbourhood before he'd extinguished his candle and after he'd accounted for every last penny that had made the journey home with him that evening. Ming plundered the pockets of all around him and not even his mustachioed top lip could hide his smiles of delight as each 50p swelled his coffers even further beyond breaking point. But the part time trout fisherman was soon to realise that he wasn't going to have it all his own way for much longer and I can still hear the words of Tony Scott echoing around the now lifeless walls of that public bar on Fishpool Street "I'll play with Tom".

With that one sentence the dynamics of the game had changed for ever, far from plundering others the once great Ming was now being plundered himself. "The Ming is dead, long live the King".

Tony Scott has now proved himself to be the master of tactics I would even go as far as to say he is the "Herbert von Karajan" of tactics. For he truly conducts this orchestra, each member clearly knows where they should be and when to come in. Impartiality and fairness are paramount,the weaker players will be alongside the stronger soloists, Tony then winds himself up and brings the players together and effortlessly they perform as if one. A full 90 minute concert then plays it's self out as the audience look on in awe. It is this very essence of fairness and impartiality that has instilled it's self in the team through the years and served them so incredibly well against all that have played them And it is this same essence of fairness and impartiality that has ensured that Tony Scott has remained unbeaten for the last 4 years, a truly remarkable performance.

All that said, tactics has given back to darts the art of thinking, the ability to outwit ones opponent now ranks alongside the ability to outscore him. The thinking dart player now has his crumpet and even the most unlikely of players are buttering it!!

Waverley Club November 8th

Recreation, temperance and education are like a three-legged stool – remove one and the enterprise would collapse. Healthy relaxation is necessary to social welfare, temperance crucial to averting the worst excesses, and education fundamental to development. Surely these criteria are crucial to the well-being of institutions the length and breadth of the country.

The Club Institute Union aka the CIU, is one such institution, steeped in these traditions, generation after generation of working men have laid the foundations of their own institutions with these fundamentals the tools from which they are built.

These were once the heart beat of community spirit, thriving establishments providing relief for the working man from the stresses of everyday life. These were places that sold more than just beer they sold life, pints of it, whole communities drunk on it, they supped from it's tankard and they fed from it's table.

The Waverley Club, Waverley Road, St.Albans. Situated not far from the site of St.Albans' once great hospital. This club epitomises the decline of these institutions over the years. The three-legged stool has long since been kicked away and lays broken in the corner. The jukebox still spews out 1980's hits, a stark reminder from when this club was once buzzing with locals regurgitating stories about the price of beer pre-decimalisation. Cheesy duo's worked the stage on a Saturday night as the local Lotharios tried there best with the female lead. All this is a world away from today's working men's clubs.

The newly promoted Waverley Club is just an empty shell now, filled with the ghosts of years gone past, echoing to the eerie silence it now produces. Gone are the working men rattling out the fives and threes, gone are the bar hangers, the scourge of every social club committee across the land who have tried year after year to stop such gatherings so that they may have clear passage to refill their glass. Oh how they must long to do battle like that again. Gone too are the beer swilling dart teams, replaced by a new breed of J2o sipping athletes!! Of course their are some exceptions.

With clear passage to the bar the Rose & Crown marched into their hosts venue with an arrogant swagger but they didn't have it all their own way as the hosts twice came from behind to level things up at two a piece after the doubles. In truth though the Rose contributed to their own downfall with a succession of missed opportunities. Going into the singles the Rose were clear favourites and after father and son team of Chris and Tom Wilson had wrapped up impressive victories to stretch into a 4-2 lead it was up to the under pressure Neil "The Dude" Crosby to close out the match. It was a struggle but Neil finally limped over the finish line to seal a victory that was never in doubt. Closing down on Neil Crosby's ever increasingly shaky singles position is Paul Mullins who continued his comeback with an impressive 2-0 singles victory which included his first maximum of the season to wrap up a 6-2 victory.

Death of a Leg-end!!!

Winter has now truly arrived and the last rays of the summer sun are now a distant memory to us all and we now sink back into winters dark depths and and reminisce about our long gone summer. The trick or treater's have long since disappeared from our doorsteps and the bonfires that lit the night sky whilst the carefully choreographed fireworks danced with such stars as Ursa Major and the Gemini twins are now just burnt out embers. The once mighty flames that licked out consuming everything in their path are now spent and the skeletal remains that were left behind have now crumbled to the ground in heap of ashes. Perhaps one should gather up these remains and place them into an ornate urn as a keepsake, perhaps with a few choice words!!!!

In Affectionate Remembrance
of

NEIL CROSBY'S POOL GAME,

which died at the Waverley Club

on

8th November, 2007,

Deeply lamented by a large circle of sorrowing friends and acquaintances

RIP

NB - The body will be cremated and the ashes taken to The Rose & Crown.

-

Perhaps a harsh obituary but Neil Crosby is perhaps a reflection of those once mighty bonfires that burnt so intensely at the beginning but just died away late in the night their heat and passion extinguished by the course of time. Perhaps MR. Crosby should seek solace in the writings of Mr. McCartney:-

-

Hey Dude, don't make it bad.

Take a sad song and make it better.

Remember to let her into your heart,

Then you can start to make it better

-

And anytime you feel the pain, hey Dude,

refrain,

Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.

For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool

By making his world a little colder.

-

We salute you Neil Crosby. A true leg-end!!!

November 1st Challenge Cup v's Pear & Partridge

With the clocks now turned back and the official end of British summertime the St. Albans dart league finds it's self happy and content snuggled up in the blanket of winter darkness. Gone now are the crowds of tourists that flock to these parts for the long summer days and barmy summer nights to quench their thirst on some of our local brews or to feed their hunger pangs with a wide array of flavoured quiches. Just a few remain and they can be seen sporting the latest in digital photography equipment as they try to capture the last of the summer sun as shafts of light pierce the abbeys stained glass windows and paint their pictures in the darkened corners of this magnificent religious theatre. As they tamper with the latest Nikon one can only imagine what theatrical masterpieces have played themselves out within these walls over the centuries and what intrigue there is to come.



For now the play is out on tour, torn from the abbey's grand stage and left to play out in the vaudeville's of the villages local pubs. For one such vaudeville, the Rose and Crown the doors open at seven, there you can watch some impromptu rehearsing from the Rose & Crown Players before the curtain goes up at eight thirty.



Witnessing the Rose & Crown players strutting their stuff on the boards of this most unlikely theatre is one would have to say an experience never forgotten. Alan Turner (above) directs his cast with a certain aplomb skillfully orchestrating proceedings pairing off his cast so that they may play to the crowd. Alan is truly an exponent of this dying art, an art that has so crudely been ripped from his hands during the summer season. No longer are these artful dodgers allowed to ply their craft and pit their wit and knowledge against each other in the increasingly farcical summer season, a season that has torn the heart out of the art of captaining one's side and left it all to chance. Years of experience in choreographing success or bowing to the better craft of a worthy opponent wiped out with the deal of a card. During the winter however such important issues are most certainly not left to chance and each pairing is chosen and played with great care. The cogs can be seen turning from behind the bespectacled master as the pairings are carefully selected on ability, craft and average weight. With this recipe Alan masterminds the downfall of many local sides and tonights opponents are no exception.

With the stage set the soon to be departed Chris Wilson enters with the enigmatic Neil Crosby. The curtain goes up and graceful duo seem to float around the dartboard exuding an air of impregnability. The once unbeatable hapless ex postman Carl Bolding can only look on from the stalls and count his remaining millions as the leading pair launch each dart as if they were delivering a line from a Shakespeare comedy. How tonight's opponent's The Pear & Partridge wish they had a stock of rotten tomatoes at hand as their team slowly stutters its way through the first act.

The stalls are a titter with talk of fly fishing and a usually silent Tony Scott is berated for daring to deliver laughter between scenes. One-Nil quickly becomes two with Dave Noble and Paul Mullins delivering another well rehearsed act. You can almost smell the juice of rotten tomatoes wafting through the theatre when Tony Scott and Tom Wilson deliver a near word perfect dialogue to make it three, only a blip from Mr Turner himself and the evergreen John Goode prevented the stocks from being brought on stage. At three-one surely it wouldn't be long now before the trap door opened and let the theatrically devoid Pear & Partridge side slip under stage and back into the dressing rooms. Chris Wilson and Neil Crosby were only to happy to oblige and twas as if each pulled a release chord that let them fall through into obscurity once more.

The Director of Darts

Football clubs have them the length and breadth of the country, the washed up journeyman manager who's spent career lays washed up somewhere off the north east coast sinking in an cocktail of sand, seawater and sewage. Far from being forgotten and left alone to live out the rest of their existence on the after dinner speaking circuit they are plucked from the quagmire of football obscurity and hailed as a savour of a club nose diving its way down the divisions.

Alan Hulks is the "Director of Darts" fabled for his lack of darting abilities. Alan first realised his potential as a darting superstar in the Blue Anchors public bar off Fishpool Street in St. Albans. Backing on to the river Ver this once thriving darts mecca sits in the picturesque village of St.Michaels. Overshadowed by the daunting cathedral this traditional English pub played host to many an evenings entertainment for the local working classes. It was here that Alan Hulks received his grounding in this the most successful of all pub games. Alan quickly progressed to using all three darts and it wouldn't be long before he was able to hit the board. Alan Turner quickly realised the potential of the young prodigy and was quick to sign him on to the Blue Anchor dart team. It was here that "DD" reached the peak of his darting ability and under the tutelage of Tony Scott now began to hit the board on a regular basis. This was the springboard that launched the Director on to the darting world

These days "DD" is content with a more advisory role and can be seen on Thursdays at the Rose & Crown propping up the table nearest the oche and happy to pass on his knowledge to the next generation of darting progeny.

Meet Tony Scott

Tony Scott (right) is the longest standing member of the "Rose & Crown" a real stalwart, a player you can rely on in a crises. "Scotty" as he is affectionately known takes you back to an era long since forgotten in the world of pub darts, an era when the public bar was a man's domain and not littered with old pub memorabilia and gastro menus offering such delights as "Steamed daurade Royale with candied aubergine, spicy ketchup and bok choi " Just what the f**k is that stuff all about? "A pint of bitter and a pie and mash please luv". Where have them days gone? I'll tell you where! Gone with the old style pub landlord that's where. " Je m'appelle Jean Phillipe, I will be your 'ost for ze evening". That is where them days have gone! "Your 'Ost for ze evening", "F**K OFF GARCON I'll have a light 'n' bitter, 'alf ounze of old holborn and a packet of pork scratchin's please mate". Long gone have those days and going with them are the characters like "Scotty" to be replaced by an ever growing population of the "yummy Mummy" brigade. Hell bent on replacing our beloved bar stalls with high chairs and bibs.

"Scotty" has been the backbone of the team since these bygone days, back in the day when the Blue Anchor reigned supreme as the top St. Michael's village dart team and the Rose & Crown was just a glint in Scotty's eye. Back in these days silence on the oche was strictly observed and the fog of cigarette and cigar smoke provided a shroud by way of which the younger generation could hide and avoid the labours of chalking. This is when darts was darts and nothing else mattered and the "gastro" food would be a curled up cheese and onion sandwich slightly discoloured by the smoke billowing out from the open fireplace. Scotty truly belongs to this bygone era a reminder to us all of how darts used to be played.

But it's adapt or die in today's ever increasingly do as we tell you nanny state democracy and "Scotty" can now be seen swathed in full length duffel coats huddled together under the centuries old traditional pub sign with numerous other social outcasts who wish to smoke, eat jellied eels or who even dare to order a brown and mild, meanwhile inside, the jukebox belts out such classic ballads as "Smack My Bitch Up" as a group of ASBO rich delinquent's order up another round of "wifebeater"

We salute you Tony Scott. See you Thursday

London Road October 25th

Last night we were at home to the London Road club, a notoriously difficult team to beat. But the lads overcame the odds and upset the visitors with a vintage display of projectile launching.

Rose and Crown stalwart Tony Scott (above) was in particularly fine form as he rattled in successive ton-forties and rounded the evening off with a maximum.

All this coming after a turbulent start to the evening when Carl Bolding AKA Ming the Merciless threatened to walk out before a dart had even been thrown. Ming (an ex-postman) had other things on his mind and was struggling to release his darts as much as he was struggling to release the contents of his wallet. Finally being forced to see out the evening as far from the dartboard as was humanlly possible. Further misery was heaped on the hapless ex-postman as "Scotty" fired in a maximum forcing the retired communications worker to cough up the required £1.00 fee.

It wasn't all bad for "Ming" He watched from the sidelines as his team recorded a memorable victory over a London Road side that looked a shadow of it's former self. Clearly missing the likes of John Welch they limped in a 2-2 after the doubles but the Rose & Crown were much stronger in the singles taking 3 of the 4 games with Neil Crosby wrapping things up to clinch a 5-3 victory.

Welcome to the "Rose & Crown " dart team

So here you are at the home page of the Rose & Crown dart team.
The Rose and Crown is a wonderfully friendly pub situated in the picturesque village of St. Michael's in St. Albans.

Within the confines of this traditional English Country Pub, meeting every Thursday is the Darts Team. A motley crew of highly trained and honed athletes who push themselves to the limits, straining every sinew just to reach the oche.